Las milicianas

La joven pelirroja cerró la puerta con decisión, pero siguió mirándola durante un largo rato. Su compañera, la joven morena de ojos como aceitunas, la contemplaba en silencio unos pasos por detrás. Mercedes y Esperanza. Esperanza y Mercedes. Habían crecido juntas y ahora juntas se hallaban frente al peligro. Aquel era el peligro de lo conocido, el peligro que te apunta con una pistola imaginariamente letal en la mismísima sien.

Mercedes guardó la munición en el bolsillo de la chaqueta y se dispuso a calmar sus temblorosas manos con un cigarillo. El sabor amargo del tabaco la ayudaba a calmar su respiración, manteniendo sus manos ocupadas en una acción simple y monótona que conocía bien. Tantas tardes interminables en la cantina que había matado fumando a escondidas. Ahora de repente todo aquel estrés parecía un juego de niños. Hacer memoria le había provocado un suspiro involuntario, que le recordó de repente el peso del fusil que llevaba al cuello, cual soga de reo a muerte.

- Míralo qué bonito el pueblo. Míralo Mercedes, que puede ser la última vez. – dijo Esperanza con otro suspiro acongojado, de esos que no puedes evitar dejar salir como pequeños gritos de auxilio asfixiados.

- Pero qué dices tonta, cómo va a ser la última vez.- dijo Mercedes entre calada y calada.- Ya verás como en nada volvemos, que esto no va a ser nada.

Con estas palabras tiró lo que quedaba del cigarrillo al suelo, en un gesto de aparente seguridad que le quedaba demasiado grande. Esperanza la miró con una sonrisa triste dibujada en la cara. Hay que ver qué alegre puede llegar a ser la ignorancia, pensó. Y qué hipócrita que es el saber, se dijo a sí misma en susurros. Mercedes hizo como que no oyó nada, pero sí que estaba escuchando.

Tras mirar la casa una vez más, ambas se dispusieron a emprender su camino a pie, una al lado de la otra, sendos fusiles colgando de un brazo, preparadas para una larga jornada rumbo a Madrid. Cada paso iba siendo una reafirmación en sus principios, era su pequeña forma de decirle a ese peligro conocido que ellas no tenían miedo. Que tenían frío, hambre y cansancio pero que miedo no. Y que estaban listas para lo que fuera a pasar. Porque una vida de encierro y luto no se la deseaban a nadie, mucho menos a ellas mismas. Porque a Esperanza y a Mercedes no las iba a callar nadie.

Las margaritas ya habían empezado a florecer entre los matojos de la cuneta. Las flores de almendro les iban marcando el camino a lo largo del sendero. Las dos iban agarrando la correa del fusil con fuerza, como si de un escudo se tratase, hasta clavarse las uñas en las palmas de las manos. Las respiraciones acompasadas por aquella carretera provincial eran lo único que perturbaba la perfecta paz primaveral de aquel bosque. Y más adelante llegarían al río, y lo pasarían pasito a paso. Hasta que allá, a lo lejos, dejaron de ver el pueblo.

Thoughts on an ephemeral city

Sandstorm in Abu Dhabi, the wind hits against the windows of Sama tower and I cannot see the sun on the sky for the first time in a long time.

This sand revolution – that has suddenly decided to attack whoever dares to go out covering their hair, hands and eyes with its little grains – has inspired me to write. Since getting out of this tower has become slightly dangerous and the sun is not there to tempt me to go out, staying in is the easiest. I hear the sand hit against my windows and I think. Just like this storm that comes as promptly as it goes away, I find my time in Abu Dhabi completely ephemeral. People, like the sand grains, come and go. No matter how long I stay, I still feel in a strange, undefined limbo that changes every second. I live in a place where people are in constant transition. Moving from one place to another, it feels like the liveliness of the city is hidden somewhere, beyond my eyes’ reach. This lack of liveliness sometimes affects my thoughts, my passion for life, as if it put me to sleep. Where is the spontaneity of the streets filled with people? Where are the street performers, the music, the neighbors saying hi to each other? I need that spontaneity of life to remind me that I am alive, to remind me why I came here. Walking in Abu Dhabi sometimes feels like walking in a place that has fallen asleep. And yet some other times I am amazed at the beauty that hides in the inner streets of this city. Something as simple as a mother playing with her child on a park, two kids playing in a street near Madinat Zayed, a younger man helping an old man to walk. Yes, life seems hidden but is definitely there. And it makes me smile.

Thinking of these moments helps me reassure my convictions and fills me with excitement to explore how to transform the feeling of Abu Dhabi as merely a transition place. This is a place full of lively people and yet we seem to be having some difficulty to actually connect and be lively with each other. I am passionate about these details that make life more human, and humans more alive. I am passionate about art and how it can contribute to bringing to the foreground those aspects that bring humans closer to each other. Can art be an opening door for cooperative behavior? I cannot help to connect this with my Brecht reading for my theater class. Writing this is actually helping me organize my thoughts about his view on theater. Even though I do not quite agree with everything he proposes, I really like his conviction that art should have a social goal. The question is, how could art contribute to transforming an ephemeral place such as Abu Dhabi into a place that has a life of its own? How do we get the separate realities that conform this city to enter a dialogue with one another beyond formalities? How do we get the street performances, the hugs, the laughter, the joy to spontaneously happen in the middle of the desert?

Let’s talk Europe: the value of a hybrid identity

As I was looking at the news the other night I had a really strong drive to write about Europe in this space. I have thought of creating a series of posts titled ‘Let’s talk Europe’ in which I will address some of the issues that go through the mind of a young European student writing in a decisive time for the region, a time in which it is more important than ever to find a common ground on European terms. Otherwise, we may have to part our separate ways and leave behind the dream of a shared European space. To open these series, I thought I would go for the main idea that makes me believe in Europe so strongly. I call it the value of a hybrid identity.

When answering the question of what the European identity is, I always think of the ability to identify with several groups. I am Spanish and consider myself the result of the many civilizations that walked the Iberian Peninsula before me. As proud as I am of this fact, I recognize this is also the heartbreaking story of several peoples being conquered to later on become other peoples’ conquerors in an endless cycle. My heritage has a lot to do with the Arab civilizations that established themselves in Iberia. It also has to do with the Catholic kingdoms as well as with the Phoenician, Carthaginians and Romans that had populated the peninsula much earlier. All this mixing makes me stand on the feet of giants, as they have all enriched the people that inhabit this geographical space nowadays. The point that I hold on to is that the story does not end here: since its origins, the entire Europe has been a constant crossroads of people, traditions and knowledge. Our most precious asset as a region is that we can identify with several civilizations, with several realities and create an overarching identity that does not undermine our local alliances.

Whenever some people have tried to convince me that there is a clash between a national and European identity I am not sure I see the same as they see. I believe in our ability to relate to more than one identity not out of necessity nor due to increased globalization but rather because it is what we have been doing all along. Europe exists in our hearts and our minds as the crossroads of civilizations, as the on-going conversation between very different perspectives that always manages to bring forward an improved outcome from the mix. It is true that our story is also one of domination, suffering and intolerance and yet it is inherent in us to keep trying, moving towards a common solution, towards a shared space.

As I read about the current crisis isolating Europe and threatening with destroying the common currency, the high unemployment rates and the lack of EU institutions strong enough to respond to the situation, the idea of realizing our hybrid identities comes to my mind as the first step towards a solution. It is now that we must decide whether we want to go one step further towards European integration or to part our separate ways and break the link between nations. I think it is our moment to start believing that the mixture inherent in our natures is a very valuable asset to be protected and kept; it is only out of this feeling that we will have the strength needed to work on Europe together.

Hybrid may be a word usually associated with the negative connotation of lacking a category, and yet I think it fits really well who we are and we should be proud of it. Europeans are a mixture of civilizations ranging from the ancient inhabitants that populated our region to the growing population of immigrants coming to enrich our European perspective. They remind us of our hybrid nature and of our ‘in-betweenness’ and this condition happens to be one of our strongest assets. Can you imagine the human potential that gathers around such an ancient crossroads?

That place I now call home

Glimpses of the past month, visiting Jordan as a student in the UAE.

The Middle East is a place of change, mixture and hope filled with infinite tastes, colors and music. A place that is tired of what it was and cannot wait to see what it can be. A crossroads, and also my home.

During a study trip to Jordan this month I had the chance to remember the potential of the region I live in and to reconnect with the reasons why I chose to study here. On the second day of our visit we had a guest speaker who teaches political science at a local University give us a lecture on Jordanian history and politics of the 20th century. His talk provided me with new insights to the ethnic conflicts that have concerned the nation for so long as well as to Jordanians’ perspective on their own political system. Curiously enough, I was not so surprised to discover he took the position of the monarchy in the country as normal and deeply necessary. My lack of emotion to this revelation made me wonder when I got used to living among people who do not necessarily believe in the same idea of a democracy as we understand it in Europe or North America. The truth is that I got used to living in one of those countries that happen to contradict my most basic notions about how people should be governed. To calling it home, and to loving it too. The extent to which this love did make me more understanding and tolerant towards other realities is something that I don’t know; and yet I think to keep this conversation going is a crucial part of my education as a human being.

The lecture about current Jordanian politics helped me refresh my mental map about the Middle East, enriching my understanding of Jordan and stimulating my thoughts. I just felt a really strong urge to connect the pieces somehow. I was on an Arabic study trip in Amman as a student of New York University Abu Dhabi and I was learning about Jordan’s current politics from a professor who had first hand experienced most of the issues he was talking about. Suddenly, some of the thoughts that I had kept at the back of my mind for the past months came back and I remembered my task of learning about the broader area I am calling home for these four years. All the little pieces of the Middle East that I gather from study trips or simple wanderings around the UAE are being somehow recorded in my mind to form a bigger mental mosaic of what this region means to me.

The Middle East is a crossroads where potential meets with contradiction, tradition, spirituality, faith and hope. It is this apparently unmixable mixture what constantly challenges an outsider’s preconceived ideas. I live in a country that contradicts most of the ideas about freedom of speech that I have been taught since birth. And yet I also live in a country that has a Film Festival that brings movies that contribute to the political and artistic dialogue of the world. One of the movies that I watched told the story of an orphan Indian child who became a legend because he could run. The film showed the controversial figure of his coach who had a bad relationship with the local authorities who were accusing him of exploiting the child. Eventually the situation ended with the mysterious murder of the child’s coach. Regardless of whether this man had been fair to the child runner, what stuck in my mind was that a movie that portrays the conflictive relationship of a man with the authorities and leaves open the question of the political powers executing those who dare to contradict them, would be shown in Abu Dhabi.

As I was leaving the movie theater I couldn’t help but think how complex the reality of the UAE – and by extension of the Middle East – actually is. For many back in Spain I go around sand dunes riding camels. For many of the people who have not been here this is a mysterious ‘in-between zone’, a grey area with a hybrid culture that nobody really knows how to define. Abu Dhabi is in between bedouine and modern, rich and poor, traditional and innovative, inclusive and exclusive. And as everything in between, it deeply interests me.

15 Oct: por una conciencia ciudadana común

Campaña del movimiento 15Oct: Unidos por el cambio global

Me ha emocionado ver que parece que estamos despertando de la gran ola de apatía y pasividad que parecía haber atacado a los ciudadanos de los países en democracia esta última década. A pesar de las veces que Ismael Serrano cantó su famoso ‘Papá cuéntame otra vez’, parecía que la gente no quería saber de aquellos tiempos en los que los estudiantes corrían delante de ‘los grises’, aquellos tiempos de la ‘dulce guerrilla urbana en pantalones de campana’.

Aunque aquí ya son mas de medianoche, en muchos otros países aún es 15 de Octubre, el día en el que se convocó un movimiento global para salir a la calle y reclamar una mejora en la calidad de nuestras democracias, exigir una banca y una política mucho más éticamente responsable y en general reclamar nuestros derechos. Hoy es un día de lucha global y colectiva al que hemos llegado tras mucha reflexión y convicción de que la situación no puede seguir así. Esta idea no ha nacido ni mucho menos de la nada (y no, tampoco de un grupo de hippies desocupados). Al contrario, este es un movimiento que nació de la indignación y el cansancio de los ciudadanos de que no se les tuviera en cuenta, de que sigamos llamando democracia a un sistema que apenas puede dar a sus ciudadanos la voz, independencia, relevancia y trato que se merecen como miembros de un estado en pleno siglo 21, como individuos que viven en la era de la información en la que las mentiras se saben en cuestión de horas si no a tiempo real. Creo que hoy en día tenemos a nuestra disposición herramientas tales como twitter o facebook que le permiten al ciudadano de a pie corroborar la información de una forma que antes era impensable. Mientras que hace menos de 20 años los medios de comunicación literalmente creaban opinión – y era muy difícil para alguien en España saber lo que estaba pasando en Vietnam – hoy en día no solo podemos buscar respuestas online sino que también se pueden crear revoluciones desde facebook, como fue el caso en la primavera Arabe y del 15M en España entre otras.

Me quedo con la idea de que la ciudadanía está pidiendo el respeto y la atención que se merece en su nueva posición de madurez y de independencia para crear sus opiniones a través de esta nueva posibilidad de contrastar fuentes.

Personalmente creo que ya era hora de sentir que estamos vivos y dispuestos a tomar las riendas de este mundo que hemos heredado de generaciones anteriores. Creo que es muy sano que se reabra el debate sobre lo que es una democracia real y sobre la supuesta capacidad de políticos y banqueros para gestionar la economía mundial. Hace poco escuché una propuesta de crear bancos cooperativas que no me sonó nada mal.
Está claro que el camino será de todo menos fácil: hay una crisis por resolver y la desigualdad entre países sigue siendo abismal. Pero estoy segura de que este paso es necesario: es crucial que se escuche la voz de la ciudadanía.

Desde siempre me ha fascinado todo lo que tiene que ver con gente unida y movilizándose entre naciones. ¿Podría ser que este nuevo paso en la maduración de una conciencia ciudadana común esté contribuyendo a que nos unamos más como seres humanos y olvidemos nuestras diferencias locales? ¿Podrían ser estos los cimientos de un sentimiento de identidad común para toda la humanidad que celebra la diferencia en lugar de verla como un obstáculo? Creo que ya lo he llevado demasiado lejos, pero no lo he podido evitar. ¿Y tú, qué piensas?

Yo me quedo pensando cómo se aplica todo esto a mi realidad de estudiante en los Emiratos…

Aquí dejo un video muy bonito que resume las manifestaciones a lo largo de este año por el mundo que culmina con la movilización del 15 de octubre.

De fronteras y mestizajes

Welcome to the place in between my thoughts. This is a space in between frontiers and in between people. The idea of this blog has been in my head for a while but I never took the decision to create it until now. After a lot of thinking this summer I felt the need to create a place of my own where I could go regardless where I was in the world. A place that would always be open for me to express my ideas and thoughts, to record my journeys.

It was during one of those summer beach walks with my dad and sister that I saw it clear: the name had to be ‘Fronteras Mestizas’. And it had to be in Spanish. Fronteras Mestizas. It is curious I cannot find an English translation that gets anywhere close to what this name means to me in my mother tongue. Crossing frontiers is a very recurrent theme in my life. Moving from one country to another has been a reality for the past three years. But my life is not only about crossing borders. It is also about mixtures. Mixtures of places, of peoples, of languages, of backgrounds. Mixtures of hopes, of passions and of ideas for the future. A mixture of realities. Diversity and mixture are one of the most powerful assets of humanity. For that reason I see my journey in life as an opportunity to incorporate to my own vision ideas from the philosophies of the people I encounter as I go. Little by little, the frontiers I initially crossed start getting blurrier. You may ask me how can a frontier be mixed, if its aim is to separate things. I can tell you that the more I think about borders, the more convinced I am that there are no categorical frontiers: we are all mixed to a certain extent, and we all definitely have the potential to engage even more in the heterogeneous mix of our world by learning from each other beliefs and practices that can re-shape our attitude towards life.

This is a space in between all the different centers of gravity around which I move. Welcome to the inbetweeness of my thoughts, welcome to a place in between two languages and in between cities. Welcome to Fronteras Mestizas.